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Sacred Psychology of Love
The Quest for Relationships
That Unite Heart and Soul
by Marilyn C. Barrick, Ph.D.
Someday My Prince or Princess Will ComeAnd Then What?
Our inner quest for divine reunion is reflected in our desire for a perfect love tryst on earth. Over and over, we try to recapture the divine connection through earthly relationships. And yet we have karma to balance and lessons to learn, and these factors strongly impact our love relationships. Sometimes we despair at ever finding our true love.
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When we do not find a loving partner, we fantasize or dream about finding that perfect one, coming together in a blissful relationship and "living happily every after"just like it says in classical fairy tales.
Through the dramatic interplay of archetypal images in our dreams and fantasies, we touch again the story of our soul. We feel the stirring of a deep inner desire for divine love and mystical union. And through the negative characters in our world of fantasy and dreams, we bring to conscious awareness unresolved thoughts, feelings and habits that block our way to bringing out the best in ourselves and to creating loving and fulfilling relationships.
We dream and fantasize and are drawn to fairy tales and mystical lore. These dramas ring a bell deep inside of us. It's a wake-up call! We recognize the archetypal characters, particularly the hero and heroine, because they tell metaphorically the story of our soul and Spirit, and the narrative tale of our twin flames.
Each of us carries our unique version of these archetypal characters in our personal unconscious. They come to life when we dream, daydream or read our favorite love stories.
When we pay attention to our inner characters, they pass through the gateway of our subconscious and enter our conscious awareness. Now we have the opportunity to identify with our inner hero or heroine and to choose to redeem the evil villain or wicked witch. In other words, we can claim our best and transform the rest!
Let's take a look now at a fairy tale classic whose charm touches both men and women. Remember the story of Snow White and Prince Charming? Their love match seemed so easy, except for that wicked queen! It's worth pondering: "Is true love and living happily ever after found only in fairy tales?"
Now, I do believe that true love is definitely found not only in fairy tales but also in real life. We have all known true love whether we remember it or not. Our original experience of true love began before our lives on earth as our oneness with the ocean of divine love, as the bliss of union of our soul with Spirit, and the joy of divine partnership with our twin flame.
Whether or not we find true love on earth and live happily ever after is entirely up to us. And that's what this chapter (actually, the whole book) is all about!
People today ask themselves questions that Snow White and Prince Charming didn't seem to need to ask, such as, How can I learn to love? How do I open my heart when I'm afraid to get hurt? How can I find a partner who loves and appreciates me for who I really am?
Then one may ask, If we do find each other, how do I do my part to create and sustain a loving and fulfilling relationship without losing myself? And even if I manage that, how can I balance a relationship or marriage and children with a career and my need for personal space?
Big questions. These are important questions that men and women have asked me many times over in my thirty-three years as a clinical psychologist and twenty-two years as a minister.
I tell them, "Everyone seeks to love and to be loved. And almost everyone I meet inwardly yearns for their own Snow White or Prince Charming. I believe we are destined to love and to be loved. And everything else can be worked out between two committed people who choose to love, understand and respect each other."
So what goes wrong? Our first mistake is to believe that true love is found only in fairy tales. The second is to get discouraged if we haven't found a perfect partner. The third is to get down on ourselves about the whole drama.
The truth is that we often become our own worst enemy when it comes to matters of the heart. How? We get cynical and lose faith in ourselves. We stop believing in who we really are. We immobilize ourselves by deciding we're unlovable. In a word, we reject ourselves.
Instead of transforming whatever isn't working in our thoughts, words, feelings and actions, we try to ignore the yearnings of our loving soul, Snow White, and the intuitive prompting of our gallant Higher Self, Prince Charming.
We desert ourselves as we vainly try to please everyone in hopes that someone will love us back. Pretty soon we're stuck in our "not-self," better known as "who I am, as I think you want me to be and I'm trying to be, even though I'm not!"
When we are stuck in that "not-self," we definitely don't feel good. We don't even feel real. So we need to get unstuck. How? By letting go of that "not-self" and claiming our lovable real selfboth our masculine and feminine parts.
Yes, you do have a lovable real self! And when you discover and become who you really are, you will be much happier with yourself and much more ready to meet your beloved and begin to live happily ever after.
Love Stories Quicken the Hopes and Dreams of Our Soul
Have you ever thought about why everyone loves stories? Especially love storiesmystical tales of knights and ladies, romances of princes and princesses, dramas of true love like Odysseus and Penelope, Dante and Beatrice, Lancelot and Guinevere? It's because these classical stories of true love speak to the hopes and dreams of our soul.
We remember as children how much we enjoyed the classical fairy tales like Snow White and Prince Charming, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast. And as adults we laugh and cry as we vicariously experience the joys and sorrows of our favorite stars in romantic movies.
Classical literature, opera and theater bring to us archetypal love stories that represent both our search for oneness of soul and Spirit, and the love drama between twin flames in the journeying of our souls in time and space. We find stirring deep within us ancient memories, inner visions, a remembrance of our mystical origin. As we rediscover our soul's yearning for union with Spirit and our longing for return to heavenly realms and reunion with our twin flame, we become painfully aware of our sense of separation and the loneliness of our earthly journey.
Subconscious feelings begin to surface more and more, and we become more consciously aware of our search for wholeness and reunion with our divine lover. We may begin to remember dreams that reflect the depths of our unconscious memories, hopes and desires. And at some point, the entire drama of our departure from the heaven-world may come to our full conscious awareness.
We remember the bliss of divine wholeness and our soul's sense of fragmentation when she separated from Spirit. We remember the joy of true love shared with our twin flame and the pain and anguish of loneliness once we went our separate ways.
We begin to have flashes, inner revelations, that detail our soul's trek through these earthly realms as she has sought to fulfill her mission, to reunite with Spirit and her twin flame, and to return to the realms of glory, the heaven-world....
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